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We cannot defeat racism if we continue to allow cultural biases govern who we love or who we let our children marry. In an attempt to escape the quarantine daze, I started watching Netflix’s new reality series, Indian Matchmaking , about the often-misunderstood world of arranged marriage. At first, I really enjoyed watching and somethings search for love and marriage in this traditional manner.
My friends and I laughed at snobby Aparna, cringed at the scenes with “mama’s boy” Akshay, and cried when sweet Nadia’s second suitor turned out to be an unapologetic “bro”. By the end of the eight-episode series, however, I felt nauseous. Unlike some of my white friends who watched on carefree, I was disturbed by the obvious displays of classism, ethnocentrism, and colourism in the show. Throughout the show, I could not help but notice how these ” isms” guided the matchmaker as she tried to find “suitable” potential spouses for her clients.
In addition to searching for those with distinguished careers, and a slim body type, she was always on the hunt for “fair” spouses. I was left with a bad taste in my mouth as the show closed with a bubbly Indian-American woman casually saying she is looking for a husband who is not “too dark”. And when I say dating, I mean dating-to-marry, because as an observant Muslim, I only pursue romantic relationships with one goal in mind: marriage.
I encounter the same annoyances found within Western dating culture Muslim women too get ghosted, mosted , and harassed , but due to cultural baggage that is often conflated with Islamic tradition, I am more likely to come head-to-head with sexism, ageism, and racism. The last one of which I suffer from the most. No matter which path I take to seek marriage – matchmakers, apps like Minder, or chaperoned blind dates – I am constantly met with the sickening reality that I am less likely to be chosen as a potential partner b ecause of my background as an Afro-Latina American born to convert parents.
He now sees the annual gathering as a refuge for those who feel ostracized by LGBT communities because of their Muslim faith and shunned by Muslim communities because of their sexual orientations or gender identities. Around , Muslims make up 1. While the Dutch Reformed Church in South Africa voted to recognize same-sex unions in , most Christian congregations representing the majority of South Africans align with most Muslim communities in opposing expanded rights and recognition for queer members of faith.
By contrast, Abdullah, who asked that his full name not be used to protect his own safety, runs an organization for queer Muslim youth in Tanzania, where same-sex sexual acts can lead to life imprisonment. Like Amazigh in Algeria, Abdullah works mostly under the radar to help queer Muslims reconcile their sexualities with their faith and gender identities and to engage local religious communities in difficult conversations.
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It goes without saying that the marriage of a Muslim woman to a non-Muslim man is one of the main taboo issues in debates on Islam. It is absolutely the main verse that states a provision on marriage with a category of non-Muslims. Allah says: These invite to the Islam, and Allah invites to the Garden and to app by His grace, and makes clear His revelations to mankind so that they may remember. It is also worth reminding that polytheists were belonging to an aristocratic muslima of obscene wealth and indecent marriage, and whose lifestyle was reconsidered by the new social values of site and equity of Islam.
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